It’s nice being a Vista …
It’s fair to say that the Em From Jem operating system has undergone a pretty significant upgrade of late. Yeah, I’m a whole new Em.
Well, that’s not entirely true … I’m the same old Em, just a bit shinier, fresher and I “run” a bit more smoothly. Oh, and I have a few more bells and whistles. That’s bells … with an “e” … tch!
Yes, Em From Jem 98 has been upgraded to Em From Jem Vista! Minus the cool desktop sidebar you can fill up with widgets – I’d love one, but I’ve nowhere to put it. And who needs widgets anyway?
In all honesty, my harddrive was full of viruses and glitches. Ran like shit and was terribly temperamental. It had this terrible habit of hanging onto files I had thrown in the trash. They just wouldn’t delete! And don’t even try to upload some shiny, new exciting files – it just wasn’t having a bar of it!
Thing is, I had tried many times to give harddrive an overhaul. It just never worked before.
It seems my built-in file clean-up wizard was shit. The program didn’t work and for this major overhaul the big guns were brought in. Commercial cleaners, or something like a huge, hulking Reg-Cure for my overcrowded C: drive.
Reg-Cure marched into my harddrive and broke me down – quite swiftly and expertly (and without warning in what I thought was a rather vicious attack) – connections were cut, wires were uncrossed and you know how you always have a funny little cord and you don’t know where it goes? Well, that was finally plugged in.
Helaleujah! I am reborn! I have seen the light! I have been awakened!
Oh, sorry, that’s right … I’m going with a technological metaphor.
My bad.
After I was so rudely broken down and left in pieces, I discovered something amazing. Hidden away in a dusty old folder at the back of my ROM was a program file which allowed me to rebuild myself.
Yeah, did this upgrade all myself. And what’s more … I am now self-powered! Oh yes! Or should that be, empowered? … or should that be EM-powered?!! Oh, yes I like that. Hey, I just invented something!!
Needless to say: those useless, negative files which were dragging me down have been kicked to the curb once and for all and the C: drive is a much tidier, organised, clutter-free place. It’s much more peaceful in there.
The system is still not perfect, wires sometimes want to return to their former connections (understandable after 20 years), and sometimes that funny little cord falls out but mostly I can rectify these issues. Wires are bossed around and that cord doesn’t stay out for long! I also have greater faith in my anti-virus … it’s gonna have to fight to get through my defences!
Yeah, I’m running much sweeter these days.
(I realise I may have misused some of the technology terminology … but hey, it’s poetic license and you’ll get over it!)
